Target.

Hello poppets,

I hope you’re all well!

Todays blog post features a question that Ive often asked myself.

Some of my very first memories of school were watching my best friend and seeing her confident little soul running around the place. Whilst all this was happening,i was no doubt stuck in a corner somewhere being bullied by the boldest of the boldest. Infact it diddnt stop at first school i was the attraction to this very behavior until i finished school.

Its been a constant running joke between me and my fellow papa bear as he always comments on how we ‘attract the behaviour’ He’s quiet, keeps himself to himself and is pretty much the male version of me and with that we seem to attract this behaviour like bees to a hive. The behaviour i can only find myself classing as ‘odd’. It may not be the right word, but, well its the only word i can come up with.

The behaviour i guess in general society you would class as bullying i guess i call it odd because i can’t believe its happening in my ‘adult’ life and so Repeatedly.

It involves anything from repeated sarcastic comments to screaming and shouting (Yup, thats happened too!)

– Shouting
– Sarcastic comments
– Swearing
– Name calling
– Belittling

This ‘attraction’ has even got to a point where i was asking in forums ‘Is this always going to happen to me?’ (Yes i actually did!) and spent many a day searching through forums of people who were in the same predicament. After a discussion at work with a fellow college talking about how she had a weird experience and was repeatedly feeling targeted by bizarre behavior it lead me to thinking how many of us are going through this and

Infact theres actually lots of reasons this can happen!
Lets take a look at a few!

You are ‘different’ to their ‘norm’
Thats right! Some people just don’t like things that are different to what they’re use to. This may mean how you dress or even down to your sexual orientation.

You are too nice.
Yep. Being nice can be a huge target as it often means, you wont do anything back. It can be extremely disheartening and frustrating to those being picked on as its a nature so unknown to them.

You are vulnerable
People who bully like to seek out the vulnerable. That may mean you are quiet and keep yourself to yourself. You are new to a school/workplace/area or you are shy and don’t like confrontation

Understanding why they’re doing it.
Looking back at the post i mention bullying quite early on in my life. Its really important to note that those adult bullies are doing it for the exact same reason as the children;Shortfalls in their own lives. (Yep, adults actually do this!)

Its really disheartening to read that it happens because you attract it with your own behavior or how you treat yourself is how you are inviting the world to treat you. From first reading that i spent years convinced that it was me. Infact its not about you at all but the actual bully themselves. They often want power or control over you as they’re lacking it in their own personal lives. It is empowering to them to pick on someone that they perceive as weaker.

Jealousy
They may be jealous of your home life, family or relationship. With this they may become frustrated that they dont have what you have and take it out on you.

Work place bullying
In the work place they may be doing it as you are more experienced or they may think you get too much credit.

Some people just like picking on people
I know right. The main motive for some people can be just because they enjoy doing it. It can be a huge boost for some people especially when an audience is present as it can provoke laughter and allow the person to get attention.

Though i still seem to attract these behaviours I’ve learnt to manage them a little. Its all about pretending what ever they do doesn’t effect you (Remember that lesson from school days too?) Its true though! Sometimes due to my soft nature it can be really hard to do that but as long as you dont show it too them, you’re on to a winner!

* Little tips from the littlest!

Rule 1 If someone says a comment thats rude or a little bit nasty, just ignore it and pretend you didn’t hear them. Don’t even acknowledge it!

Rule 2 If someone makes sarcastic,personal or fake comments, thank them.

Rule 3 If you make a mistake or do anything embarrassing (This ones obviously in their for me) don’t get upset or disheartened about it, it will only fuel them. Just keep your cool and brush it off!

Unfortunately some wont lay off that easily and if it ever gets too bad its always important to seek some sort of help. If its happening in the work place there will be some sort of policy in place to protect you. If its in general life and social situations any threat to your safety should be reported to your local police.

Its really sad that this happens and people target each other. The whole thing baffles me and i don’t think il ever be able to get my head around it.