Self love isn’t selfish – 3 months they said!

Hello everyone,

How the dickens are we?

Yes, if you follow me on social media you will know my blogs posts going forward will now be more regular.

The start of my year has just been me having a good ol’ sort out and making some room for my beloved blog posts to come back. It’s funny that I left my previous job to focus on my blog and blog posts then found myself with a lot of work and neglecting the one thing that I set out to do.

No point dwelling on that though. Let’s focus on the good stuff, like that they are back! Yes, I should now be back to my schedule of weekly blog posts from chatting through whats happening in my own life to touching on a variety of topics that you have requested through various social media channels.

Talking of chatting through whats been happening in my life. If you are an avid reader of my blog you will know that a few years ago things all came to a head in questioning how people were treating me. I found myself with the name of ‘Littlest Helper’ and didn’t have much use for anything else. Yes, people only seemed to contact me when they needed some sort of assistance and though I had been recognising that for some time, things really all came to a head and i’d had ENOUGH.

I think it was due to being in the UK prior and that the majority of the people around me knew me before the ‘Littlest Lady’ title so could see me for both. However, in New Zealand it was like it was all people knew me as.

I remember watching some inspirational video (Tony Robinson I think it was) that said devote 3 months of your life to you and only you. Get your physical fitness to where you want it to be, your metal fitness and set out what goals you want to achieve and remove all that noise. I found myself thinking what bliss it would be and now all im thinking is,

I don’t know if 3 months was a start point or more a case of 3 months is all it will take for you to realise that you really are your number 1 priority and that (as hard as it is) you really have to put yourself first.

My days now revolve around me walking Lola, the gym and then my work and I have been very choosey who I spend the rest of my time with. Im very lucky that I work with some absolute GEMS which means my interactions during the day are nothing but positive. I then have a few select people that I go for coffee or lunch dates with and i’ve found that with being so goal focused at the moment that its enough for me. I have found this real love for bumping into people when I walk Lola or running into people in town and that short brief interaction fills my heart enough and doesn’t leave me drained and deflated.

At first it took a long time to get used to. I had gone from having a LOT of people around me, not only in my personal life, but at work too. My work involved me meeting a lot of people and interacting either with individuals or groups and then my evenings and weekends were spent doing SOMETHING wether at gigs, off galavanting or having some sort of gathering at my home.

I will never be ungrateful for those years as I think its what my heart needed after spending so much time in my abusers care and being so alone and isolated. However, I sort of went from one extreme to the next and found myself falling in love with EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. As the years went by and I found myself with a lot of expectations and demands on my shoulders. I found myself looking around me going “who are these people and what are they actually bringing (or more to the point taking away) from my life.”

Now, i’ve found myself with a really good balance which allows me to do ALL the things that my heart desires and doesn’t leave me feeling like one job Nelly. If you read my last blog post you will know I spoke about travelling more around New Zealand which is still part of my plan, but just got a little waylaid due to torrential rain.

Life right now is pretty darn good.

Also, hang on. Im not finishing this blog post without talking about Jackass Forever. Have you seen it? Exactly what I said. Pretty.Darn.Good.