“I wanted to see what would happen if I didn’t give up” - littlestlady.com

Big Changes to Littlestlady.com!

Hello Poppets,

How are we doing?

My apologies firstly for the distance between this blog post and my last. There has been a lot going on behind the scenes and I have been busy making changes to things like my website and social pages. Why? well let me explain.

Today I am going to be sharing with you something that I am actually pretty nervous about sharing and I ask you to read ahead with patience and understanding. I was going to film this for my new found love YouTube but felt this needed to be written out and that I owe it to the long term followers of littlestlady.com

Lets go back a little first.

See, littlestlady.com actually started on blogspot. No theme, no design just merely rants of an abused child trying to hold on the best she could.
It was almost an online diary due to spending so much time online already and a place for my head to spill out what it needed. I never expected anyone to see it (because I didn’t know people could even find it) and I expected it to be simply for me.

Within weeks people started commenting on it and sharing their opinions. Sharing how they too were feeling similar or once did and were sharing how they moved through it.

Before I knew it I had a few hundred followers, regulars and people that were waiting for me to write again. To be frank, I didn’t understand what the dickens was happening. I mean, I actually couldn’t really write. My lack of education left me writing in a way that I could understand for my own reflections but I hadn’t taken into consideration anyone else having to understand it.

I started trying with what I was doing. Watching the way I wrote, correcting mistakes and trying to make it a little easier to read. I decided to start leaving a few lessons in there for others and hoping to shine a little light and do more than just spill out the contents of my brain for all to see.

For the first time in my life I had purpose. I had something I was good at and believe me, it was mind blowing. I didn’t feel like anybody before that and mixed with all my layers of trauma and mental health difficulties I thought that put me further down the food chain. Instead I was finding something I was good at and most importantly I was finding myself.

I was in the midsts of therapy and was learning so much not only about myself but the world that myself and many others had grown up in. How we are almost expected to fit certain stereotypes and walk paths that have already been paved for us. I was learning about my past and the path that my abusers had walked and that many others were trapped in cycles that spanned generations too.

After leaving therapy and finding myself free of my disorders I packed a backpack full of all the things I had learnt throughout my life and in therapy and set out on a quest to teach people about the possibilities of recovery and healing and its importance.

In 2015 I made the decision to go from a blogspot page to my own official website. This wasn’t just about me journaling but actively teaching people the things I had learnt.

Again like that blogspot page it grew and blossomed. One of my first blog posts was sharing my story with The OCD Stories and let me tell you I wish I had a picture of my face when they asked me if I would take part. I couldn’t believe it. This was so much more than just my ramblings, could we be on to something?

From that we went on to more. More guest posts, podcasts, radio stations and magazine covers. M-A-G-A-Z-I-N-E COVERS. What?!

So, now what?

After my Womans Day NZ feature and my story in OCDUK’s Compulsive Reading I realised just how powerful sharing my story was and how much it was teaching people. The response to those articles was HUGE and it reached people that I never would have imagined. I realised in that moment that thats what I needed to do. To grow and show as many people as I could the power and possibilities of recovery and just how possible recovery is.

To be honest though, I didn’t know how to grow my voice and reach more platforms and I was at a bit of a loss. Don’t get me wrong I love every minute of sharing my story but I felt like something was missing and I needed to stop and reassess the situation. Yes I was helping a good chunk of people but how could we make this message of recovery REALLY loud.

Due to being online I found myself in the hands of social media experts having multiple meetings about how I could grow. The answer was that I wasn’t doing what most social media platforms wanted me to do, sell. It was explained to me that people grow and are given more opportunities by doing content creating for various brands and organisations and those brands sharing it on their platform. It was an instant ‘no’ for me as I just felt I never wanted to do that with my blog. I wanted it to be a safe place and not for commercial profit.

Everywhere I went I was hit with the same answer and the same answer from me was given.

I started to think about my blog and what had been most powerful and helpful to people over the years, look at my stats and look at what people were looking for from my blog.

Dont get me wrong, I earn (because bills?) just in a different sense and I have never actually earnt from littlestlady.com (much to peoples disbelief). I create various means of content from articles to newsletters for abuse and mental health related organisations but you guys very rarely see that unless you stumble on it yourself.

I wanted to test the waters and see peoples reactions so in the midsts of lockdown from Covid-19 I posted a social media post that I had created for The Mental Health Foundation of NZ’s social pages and part of a newsletter I had worked on with ChildHelp and… you guys LOVED IT.

See, stuff like this I wouldn’t usually post for similar reasons. I didn’t want to feel like I was selling you all something and I also felt they didn’t have much ‘support’ ‘help’ or ‘lessons’ in them like my usual posts. It was just essentially ‘this is what ive been working on’. Regardless the response was how cool It was that I have worked with these organisations and support what they do. Though it was something I never wanted to do, maybe we were on to something?

I started to look at other areas of my blog and ask you what you wanted to see wether it be on my blog, social platforms or on my YouTube channel. It was all surrounding the way I looked. How I do my hair, where I buy my clothes from, my skincare routine and my head instantly went ‘Oh I cant do that’. In fact, for years I have been asked the same thing and for years I’ve avoided doing such things. I guess I have avoided talking about the way I look and dress because I didn’t want it to deter away from my message and its importance.

I feel I had good reason for not wanting to do these things but in turn I have almost been holding myself back. I mean, is this the definition of digging your own grave because I fully admit I have probably been doing exactly that. Ha ha! Can you see where I’m coming from thought? Yes I know I have maybe been delaying things a little but theres also that aspect of my blog that people often comment on and that it is me just sharing my story. That there is no selling, no influencing and that it’s purely just me and my journey through life.

I always felt it would be hard to hold on to my message doing all those other things. I felt sharing how I dressed had nothing to do with healing from trauma but I have since realised it actually does and it also connects to me. You guys have been wanting to know about me and who is behind Littlest Lady for years and I’ve been going BUT THE RECOVERY!! WHAT ABOUT THE RECOVERY!! I nearly just spat out my coffee laughing at my own joke, but its true!

Whoops (to say the least?)

In the midsts of sorting through the information given to me and trying to work out what to do I received an email. It was one of those situations where I was like hang on, how does this person know what I was just sat thinking about? However, they did.

I was sat wondering how I could filter through all this stuff. Yes, I could occasionally share who I had been working with behind the scenes but how do I filter through those daily offers I receive and find something that I can share with you guys. Things that still align with my message and things that I believe would genuinely help people (because let me tell you the zebra print bikini that I was offered to share on my platform this morning WASN’T IT.)

Im not just saying this, but when I look back through my blog the things I have loved most is working with others. Those old school ‘guest posts’ where someone comes on for a chat, giggle, reflection and to share their side of things. Oh dont get me wrong, I love snuggling down and writing blog posts but there is something about working with others. When I reviewed Mark Freemans book many moons ago I loved the whole process. Reading the book, reflecting on what I wanted to share with you, writing the post and designing the cover. I absolutely LOVED it and most importantly so did you.

When I think about where I want to go with my blog or what I would want to do more of in that aspect I’m like THATS IT! I mean, I posted that review because, it’s Mark Freeman and he’s great? but because I wanted to share The Mind Workout and all its glory with you and because I knew not only the book but marks work would genuinely help people. I would love to find more gems like this be it products, books, apps, whatever. Just FEEL GOOD STUFF to share with you all. There is so many things that helped me during my journey from books, apps and even things like skincare products that helped me battle my skin after suffering so much with my mental health.

Luckily I have found someone to help me filter through all that because that little email? It was a management team. Yeah so I have a manger. I have a manager. I actually have a manager. LITTLEST LADY HAS A MANGER! I REPEAT! LITTLEST LADY HAS A MANAGER!

BREATHE. BREATHE. BREATHE.

Honestly what ever next. This blog journey has been WILD let me tell you but this is honestly a hop, skip and a jump in the right direction for me, littlest lady and us.

It’s funny because content creation or that ‘influencer’ status is what most reach for and is probably more ‘normal’ than staying away from it. I didn’t understand why I would enter into those territories especially when I wasn’t wanting to earn from my blog directly but I never questioned it in a growth aspect.

I know this is a bit businessy and to some it might almost be a bit ‘why do we need to know this?’ but there are people that have followed my blog for many many years and I feel I owe it to people to not just ignore and glide past the big changes that are going to be happening.

So what does this actually mean and what changes will happen? The basis of my work, blog posts and social posts will very much remain the same. However; I am going to be implementing lots of the things that you guys ask for and collaborating in the process. For example; one thing that I have been asked is how to deal with problem skin when struggling with mental health. This is something I think so many could benefit from and let me tell you my skin paid the price during my struggle with mental illness. I have learnt some real key things about my skin, how our health effects it and some great products to use. I would be sharing and collaborating with some skincare brands that have products that I would genuinely use and would recommend and sharing some tips along the way.

Thats just one example and I would love to find more products, books and apps to share with you guys. Believe me when I say this wont just be me sharing anything and everything willy-nilly with you all and the reason for having a management team behind me is to filter through the things that are just not me. If you are a long time follower it will be like when I shared Mark’s book with you or when I have shared various apps for giveaways.

I think myself and many others look at content creating for brands as just ‘products’ or ‘stuff’ but its a world of opportunity and a world that I didn’t understand the depths of. These things will open up so many opportunities for me and be a chance to share my story further a field and in places it wouldn’t normal reach. Share it with brands and organisations that I never thought I would have the opportunity to. Events, public speaking, the lot!

I think its also important to say I will be sharing a little more about me as so frequently requested by you guys and doing some more lifestyle and lighthearted content (especially on YouTube) so you guys can get to know me more too.

I have been hinting at working on some ‘projects’ and ‘changes’ for a while now and this is one of those first steps. If you have watched my recent YouTube video you’ll know I have really been put through the mill recently. (What does that phrase even mean?) Now I’m starting to realise that it was maybe needed and that this is a real time for change. Its a change that I wasn’t sure about and I feel there will be some that will leave our little community due to these changes but I wouldn’t make these choices if it wasn’t for the best for us long term. This passion for sharing the voice of recovery and making it just as loud as the voice of struggle is as strong as ever. It doesn’t fade, it doesn’t dim, its just a fire that burns so brightly inside of me and it isn’t going anywhere.

From the bottom of my heart thank you for all the love and support since this little journey started. I wouldn’t have been able to achieve the things I have without all your love and support. Though I am so excited about the opportunities that will come my way I feel like this really is the end of an era. We’re moving away from the journal of a 17 year old abused teenager and becoming something so much more. Though that is exciting its a little sad too. Please hear me when I say I wont change. I will still be the same old Jessica and my blog will still reflect nothing but my heart.

Im often asked by people what they can do to support my story and work and its all those really simple things. Liking my blog posts and social posts, commenting on things and sharing content. All these things allow me more opportunities and more opportunities to share my story of recovery. This is my dream, life and career and I’m willing to do what I can to make it a reality!

Maybe there is some lessons in there for others too. That sometimes we have to change our initial plans and do things that we weren’t necessarily all for doing at one stage to get to where we need to be.

You’re all wonderful. Truly, you are.

Thank you Thank you Thank you!

 

littlestlady

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2 Responses to “Big Changes to Littlestlady.com!

  • I think this is gonna be really positive for you! I am excited to see where it leads you! 😁😁

    • JessicaEmily
      2 months ago

      Me too and I cant wait to see where it takes us!

      xox

      Littlest Lady

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