Accepting the Unacceptable

Hello poppets!

How on earth are you all?

On my blog I’ve been on a theme of recovery. Going through the recovery stages from where i got my determination from and how i used that determination. Next on my blog i want to go down the route of accepting the unacceptable. Accepting all those horrible unacceptable things for the benefit of our lives.

Acceptance when it comes to abuse is incredibly hard. The hurt,the heartbreak and the trauma we have to essentially, just accept. Its an awful feeling at first as you’re almost saying ‘oh well’ to some of the most traumatic experiences a human being can go through. Though it can be extremely difficult to do accepting such traumas is an incredibly empowering experience.

I had to accept that my mother had chosen to abuse me for 14 years of my life instead of the usual motherly role. That yes she emotionally and physically abused me and also instigated my sexual abuse. I had to accept that i had been sexually abused and accept that two other people decided that assaulting me was an acceptable thing to do.

I remember the first time i was told i had to ‘accept it and move on’ I was heartbroken and completely baffled that I had to do such a thing. It sounded so cold and heartless and a completely careless way to describe what to do with such a traumatic event

“Accept it and Move on”

definitely wasn’t the right way to say this but essentially when worded properly its the complete truth and something we have to do if we want to change our lives.

Acceptance for me really came when I started to learn about why the things that happened to me happened. Once id broken down my life and noticed why those things had happened to me and that they were a product of nothing more than broken people accepting what happened to me became easier and it almost came naturally.

I saw that my mother was a prime example of how not accepting things had done nothing but destroy her. She didn’t accept what happened to her but instead chose a path of hurt and destruction to make what she went through a little more acceptable.

Accepting what happened to us is essentially just saying it happened. That yes we were in fact put through some of the most most traumatic experiences a human being can go through. That yes it was horrible and it shouldn’t of happened, but it did.

Unfortunately we cant change the things that happened to us. Theres no real way to punish or get back at the person or people that hurt us. What ever we think might help at the time probably isn’t going to and we just end up reaching for more ways to hurt that person or people.

With this were putting ourselves in the same bucket as them. Causing hurt and destruction which is exactly what my abusers did and in term what kept the cycle going

“Life becomes easier when we learn to accept an apology we never got” – Robert Brault

Do you struggle with accepting what happened to you? Which are the points you really struggle with?


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